Let's Talk Insecurity: Your Appearance

Does your weight fluctuate?  You might be battling insecurity.

Summer 1996: around 125 pounds

Summer 1998: over 175 pounds (just couldn't step on the scale anymore)

Summer 2012: around 150 pounds

Ok ladies, I am going to be really transparent here.  I cannot believe that I am putting my weight in writing for all to see, but I think it is VERY important that you understand that if you battel issues with your appearance and namely your weight, YOU are NOT alone.  However, you most likely are insecure and you need to reach out for help and support. 

Most woman, starting at a very young age, are concerned about their appearance.  I'm too tall or too short.  I wish I had curly hair.  I wish my eyes were blue.  I wish I had fair and flawless skin.  I wish my feet were smaller.  I could go on and on.  We are constantly comparing ourselves to others and more often than not, in our own minds, we don't measure up.  The mirror is our worst ememy.  I think Satan had a huge role in the creation of the mirror :)

Rather than embracing the beauty within us and on us, we want to change.  We desire to look like someone we think is prettier or more appealing than we are.  We believe that if we had "those" characteristics, people would like us more or give us more opportunities.  Unfortuantely, because our physical traits are not easy to change (unless we want to pay alot for it), we turn our attention to our weight, something we can control. Can you relate?  I sure can.

Like most woman, especially in their teen years, I was constantly concerend about my weight.  I was on the Dance Team in Highschool so it was very important for me to maintain a small figure, being that I had to wear spandex in front of large crowds of people. Ahh!  This is when the poor weight control habits started.  I leaned that if I ate only grapes or lettuce at lunch, I could lose a few pounds easily.  Unfortunately, I knew that my parents wouldn't want me eathing that way, so I learned that if I took diareitcs, I could eat what they served me at home and still maintain my weight loss.  Although I didn't realize it, I was becoming both anorexic and buliemic. My body was a mess.  Please note: There are woman who are able to lose weight in a healthy and mature way.  I applaud you.  I wish I had been more like you.

I share this with you because if you have a daughter or even a son that is concerend about his or her appearance and you start to notice a change in their weight, you need to talk with them about it openly and kindly.  If they don't get a handle on it when they are young, it will be an issue they face well into their adult years.  If it is a woman, it could even cause her not to be able to have children.  It can also lead to heart attacks and really bad skin. 

As you can see by my photo's above, I have batteled this issue for many, many years.  I jumped from one size to the next, never feeling satisfied with how I looked.  You see, I was smart, made good grades and well liked amongst my peers, but I never felt pretty.  I never saw myself as God created me, "as fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)."  Boys saw me as great tutors and good friends, but they never wanted to date me or take me to dances.  I cared more about what the world thought about me than about what God thought about me.  I didn't realize how insecure I really was.

I would lose a bunch of weight and although I would feel happy for a little while, I would still be empty inside.  Then, I would turn to food for comfort.  I would eat and eat and again, I would be happy for a while, but then I would get depressed becuase my clothes didn't fit.  It was a never ending cycle.  It didn't matter if I was a size 8 or a size 16, I was still never satisfied.  I didn't need new skinny Jeans, I needed the love and support of my heavenly father.  I needed to stop focusing on how others saw me, and start focusing on how HE sees me.  This is where the help of our godly friends and family comes in.

If you see someone battleing issues with their appearance, you first need to Pray for them and then you need to go to them in love and remind tham that they are a child of God.  I am thankful that my earthly father took time to write me the most painful letter than shocked me back to reality.  Then it was up to me, to seek help from the Lord.  Most importantly, I needed to seek contentment. 

1 Corinthians 6:19 says, Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own.

I had to spend time in the word to really understand that I was tearing down my temple each time I gained and lost five pounds.  It took a lot of time and a lot of prayer to realize that God has a purpose for me  reagardless of my size (Jeremiah 29:11).  How was God going to use me for his service if I was a broken mess.   

I had to start looking in the mirror and really tell myself that I am pretty and special and I do matter to the ONE who matters most.  I had to stop letting the world control my thoughts about myself and start living as the beautiful child God created.

If you struggle with this issue, I hope you will go to the Lord and plead with him for help.  It won't happen over night and if you are like me, it will be a constant battle, but the Lord can help you see the beauty within you.

Psalm 84:1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of host!

If you are saved, then you have the spirit of the Lord dwelling inside of you - that makes YOU lovely.  Isn't that AWESOME!

Ladies, I beg you to find your security in the Lord, not in the mirror.  A mirror is just a peace of glass that can be easily broken, the Lord is a strong tower than will last forever.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Many woman who struggle with issues with their weight or appearance do so becuase of past physical or sexual abuse.  If you are one of these woman, I encourage you to seek the help of a pastor or Christian counselor.  You need to deal with the root cause of your insecuity before you can be healed from the insecurity itself.

Matthew 10:31(from the mouth of Jesus)

 "Fear not, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows."